fairy in the fairytale

hello there. today is merdeka merdeka day. and i just stay at home doing my homework and doing my homework. i wish to go out and done my work at tuition there. but unfortunately i have no car =~=

is end of the august now. i should clear up my mess mind. dear daddy king was gone a month ago. and i still maintain the same. i really should be stronger, keep holding and do all my best. KEEP GOING! i know i can do it.

skip.

should share some enjoyable moment. sadness mood really not suitable for me. teehee :目 still remember my preview post:  departure? curious? i went to US last Monday. do not misunderstand. i just going a trip of Universal Studied but not United State. heehee :D

without wasting anytime. lets the photo tell the story :)

it was raining at the day

finally reach :3

if i rich i will make one :)

new york road

the road was an ocean before

the most scary and longer roller coaster =~=

i was a princess in there

expensive lunch =~=

F4 aka 4 first year

beloved teacher ♥

we met panda :D

it was a memorable and tired day. phew. the roller coaster was an excited game. go through the fear and just do it. good try. everything was just perfect except the lunch. it cost me 10.80 Singapore dollar!! it sound reasonable but it is 25++ ringgit Malaysia!!Mc'D is more better than it T3T nevermind. really nevermind. totally nevermind. i can accept it T3T as a conclusion, i was a nice trip :)

last but not least, i will end my post with a stawberry bluberry confidence punya leng lui ah moi's photo :目 have a nice day guys.

想念我的年少轻狂，无忧无虑。

departure

 

away from reality and entering the fairytale.

不准哭

今天，我真的好想好想哭。好想放肆地哭，好想狂乱地哭，好想不顾一切地呐喊心中的感受。我真的好想找人倾诉我的难过。但，我并没有那么做。

亲爱的爸爸，不知不觉，你已离开我半个月了。但是，我还是很想念你。爸爸，你过得好吗？我很想说我过得很好。但是，没有爸爸，我并不好。

我还是一样的胆小。
我还是一样的爱哭。
我还是一样的懦弱。

今天，分享了爸爸一点点的事情。我心里其实有好过了，一点点。

我好想好想，告诉所有人，我的爸爸有多好多好。
我好想好想，告诉所有人，我的爸爸有多疼爱我。
我好想好想，告诉所有人，我的爸爸有多么伟大。
但是，
现在每每提起爸爸，都是我痛苦的遗憾。

失去了爸爸，才发现自以为是理所当然的幸福，并不是那么的理所当然。
原来，幸福的背后，都是爸爸默默地付出。
而我却从来，没有发现，爸爸辛苦的付出。
而我也从来，没有感激，爸爸的所有付出。

总在为我自己找借口。为什么是我？为什么？为什么爸爸会舍得离开他最爱的我？
我知道，就算得到答案，爸爸也不会回来。

树欲摇而风不止，子欲养而亲不待。

我真的好后悔好后悔。
我真的好遗憾，我并没有做到一个孝顺的女儿。
就连让爸爸好好享受和休息一天，都没有做到。
就连好好聆听爸爸和爸爸谈谈心，也没有做到。
我真的，好后悔。

脑海里还是无法忘记，那一天。我用我冷酷的背影，面对爸爸。
结果回到家，却轮到我自己，看着爸爸冰冷的背影，离开了我。
从有温度，有表情的爸爸。
到冷冰冰，表情零的爸爸。
然后到，看似安详睡着，却怎么也叫不醒的爸爸。
接着到，被烧成灰的爸爸。
最后到，被装进瓶子里的爸爸。
原来，这就是，死亡的程序。

亲爱的爸爸，就这样，在短短的几天内，消失在我的生活。
留在家里的，只剩下，让人上香和膜拜，冷冰冰的神位，来取代爸爸。

以前宁愿睡觉，都懒得和爸爸说话。
但现在，
却早晚勤奋地上香和爸爸说说话，来补偿从前的遗憾。

原来要经历痛苦的失去，才能真真感受，错过珍惜的遗憾。
原来要经历痛心的挫折，才能真真开始，学习坚强和成长。

我可不可以说，我不要坚强，我不要成长。我只要当，爸爸最疼爱的小女儿。
但是，爸爸的永远离开，已成了不变的事实。

哭完了，还是要擦掉眼泪，勇敢地接受事实。
哭完了，还是要擦掉眼泪，带上快乐的面具。
哭完了，还是要擦掉眼泪，套上坚强的武装。
哭完了，还是要擦掉眼泪，乐观地度过生活。

但我还是想说。爸爸我好想你。我也好爱好爱你。

给爸爸的信 #1

爸爸，今天以后，你就真真地离开我们了。

今天，我和哥哥一起送你到火化场。天空下着雨。我想，应该是连老天爷都为你这个好爸爸，好丈夫的离开而伤心。我们大家都没有说话，没有表情。事实就是这样，我们已经没有爸爸了。妈妈故作镇定，哥哥必须坚强，而我却什么都做不到。

爸爸，
我很想哭，但是却哭不出来。可能眼泪已经流完了。
爸爸，
我很想和你一起离开，但是我没有那种勇气。

爸爸，
我知道你是爱我们的。我们也很爱很爱你。
你不必再害怕，你就安心地离开。
你不必再烦恼，那些可恶的恶魔不会再为你带来痛苦。
你也不必担心，我们会好好地生活。

爸爸，
我好难过，从今以后，没有机会再喊你一声爸爸。
我好难过，从今以后，没有机会再紧紧拥抱你。
我好难过，从今以后，没有机会再向你撒娇。
爸爸，我真的真的好难过。

爸爸，
你现在过得好吗？家里少了你真的好奇怪。那种空虚，那种寂静。我真的不知道要如何形容。这样的情况，令我感到非常害怕。我讨厌我自己是如此的胆小。

想想以前是多么的快乐。那是一种简单的幸福。而我却，不曾珍惜。

还记得，我们一起看电视笑得失态的模样。
还记得，我们一起抓老鼠的乐趣。
还记得，我怕黑你陪伴着我的时光。
还记得，你总是准时送饭给我的温馨。
还记得，我感冒了你为我操心的模样。
还记得，我晚归你为我等门的时候。
还记得，你每次责骂我的粗枝大叶。
还记得，你每次都哆嗦我是个肮脏猫。
还记得，你要我减肥而骂我是大肥婆。

但这一切一切，再也不能从来。

爸爸，我真的好想你。

爸爸，对不起

今天，是个晴天霹雳的一天。我不知道要怎样去面对。我亲爱的爸爸离开了我。

眼泪止不住，但却改变不了什么。

我恨，我什么都做不到。

我恨，恐惧占据了我的心。

我希望，奇迹会出现。

我希望，这只是一场梦。

我希望，时光能够倒流。

我后悔，自我懂事以来，没有紧紧地拥抱爸爸。

我后悔，自我懂事以来，没有重视爸爸的关心。

我后悔，自我懂事以来，没有认真地聆听爸爸。

我后悔，自我懂事以来，没有好好地和爸爸说话。

我后悔，自我懂事以来，没有乖乖地听爸爸的话。

我后悔，自我懂事以来，没有真诚地感谢爸爸对我的付出。

我更后悔，自我懂事以来， 没有诚实地向爸爸说我爱你。

还记得，小时候，我总爱像跟屁虫那样黏着爸爸。

还记得，小时候，爸爸都会把最好的留给我。

可恶的我，只用冷冷的背影面对爸爸。

可恶的我，只会忽视爸爸的感受。

可恶的我，只会敷衍爸爸的关心。

可恶的我，不曾关心爸爸的感受。

可恶的我，不曾达到爸爸的要求。

可恶的我，到失去时才会后悔。

我还有好多好多事没为爸爸做。

我还没好好地让爸爸享清福。

我还没好好地带爸爸去看世界。

我还没好好地让爸爸做他想做的事。

我还没好好地教爸爸驾新买的汽车。

我还没好好地驾着车子带爸爸去兜风。

但是，一切都太迟了。

我很想爸爸，但爸爸再也不会回来了。

我想说，爸爸对不起。我真的真的真的很爱你。

i hate this part

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uncontrolled temperature

hello people. phew. is full of dust here. such a long time didn't updated my sweet little blog. sorry.

what a lovely month of the year. June. iheartJunealots!!! as some people know, berry confidence punya leng lui ah moi was born in this lovely month. every happy things happened in this month.  but i didn't even updated a post. shameonme=~= nevermind. really nevermind. totally nevermind. i will compensate all of them today. teehee :目

as i said at my preview post thanks to moi sis celebrate my big day for me. and now i wanna to thanks my teacher for celebrate my birthday. i do happy with everything you all did. cake, presents, surprise. although didn't took much picture but still, thanks for everything ♥

erm... did i mentioned our beloved Lee's family had a new member? no? heehee :3 without wasting any time. let me introdue to all of you!!!

heeheeheehee :3 ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my baibai♥ with fully pleasure. (screaminmax!!!)

fast go buy toto :3

mummy queen already send away the little deer and change it to viva. mummy queen is strawberry blueberry blackberry considerate for us. she said the little deer is dangerous to drive sumore convenient and safety is important than anything. heart you lots mummy queen♥♥♥

with the convenient of baibai♥, i am now more dare going far place. just like yesterday, i pass by 1U, Mutiara and going Sunway Giza Mall to enjoy the fantastically delicious snowflake. iknowiamferocious:B

i think i am a lots of over recently. especially since i have baibai♥ i should control abit a lots =~= 

never thought that i will go there without any reason. 

never thought that my thinking change blank when going to meet the person. 

never thought that i will ignore the most important safety when driving to there. 

never thought that it was just a gossip before.

ifeeldisgustingtomyself=~= i swear for to moon, for the star, for the sun, for the cloud, for the rainbow, for the wind, for the rain. no more uncontrolled LEE YEE LENG exist because of the person. i swear it sincerely.

skip.

oh yeah. almost forget. i need apologize to moi sis, shernice pei shan. sorry for not attending your birthday party.you know i have a dancing competition right? and i know you sure know you are in my heart. heehee:目  

talking about the dancing competition, this is the first time i try to dance with the chair. do you know what i mean? brilliant you sure will know what i talking about. my teacher and i were practising until the middle of the night everyday. sacrifice our sleeping time and go through a restless moment. hopefully we able to have the chance to perform at Tiara Beach next month. wish me luck guys :)

today went to make my passport born. yipee! i am going to US at August. i will try my best to capture lots of beautiful scene and the picture of berry beautiful punya leng lui ah moi. heehee :3 

i wish my hair can grow faster and has a heavy heavy feel punya fringe. i think i almost become a botak ah moi. i am serious T3T and my hair now change to curly curly hair and i hate it. sumore the black hair grow campur with the orange hair. i need call 1Fm because i really beh tahan!!! i need reponding. =~=

should stop my complain now and start work. i am still fighting with my assignment. tomorrow is the dead line and i am going to die. zZz.  good night good morning world.

the more you grow up, the more money you need. life ain't simple at all =~=